I want my blog to be real. I want it to be something that people can read and relate to the joy... and the pain. Because of this, I have decided that for the next couple of days I will post entries from a journal that I sometimes write in and hopefully, it can be of some service to someone.
*Some of the thoughts expressed may not be clear or complete. These were never meant to be read by anyone but myself.
August 2, 2006
As of right now, I am one week away from being 9 months pregnant. I have a simple request for God...That he would provide Nathan with a job so that we do not have to move. More than anything, I want Your will to be done in my life. My prayer is that if you are trying to get us to move, that you would tell me some other way. Open our ears to hear what the Spirit has to say. Lord, I am trying to conquer this fear. If it were just a matter of knowing that we are supposed to be here and You just providing for us, that would be one thing. The variable is whether or not You really do want us here. It's been such a struggle ever since we got here. Is this the way it was meant to be or have we somehow missed it? I remember from my other journal that often when I thought You weren't moving on behalf of us, You really were. I take comfort in this fact. Put something in us to show us that You do not want us here if indeed You don't. Otherwise, please provide Nathan with the following type of job:
August 2, 2006
As of right now, I am one week away from being 9 months pregnant. I have a simple request for God...That he would provide Nathan with a job so that we do not have to move. More than anything, I want Your will to be done in my life. My prayer is that if you are trying to get us to move, that you would tell me some other way. Open our ears to hear what the Spirit has to say. Lord, I am trying to conquer this fear. If it were just a matter of knowing that we are supposed to be here and You just providing for us, that would be one thing. The variable is whether or not You really do want us here. It's been such a struggle ever since we got here. Is this the way it was meant to be or have we somehow missed it? I remember from my other journal that often when I thought You weren't moving on behalf of us, You really were. I take comfort in this fact. Put something in us to show us that You do not want us here if indeed You don't. Otherwise, please provide Nathan with the following type of job:
- A place where he will be used by You.
- Good hours.
- Personal satisfaction.
- A promising career.
- Over $***** a year (enough to pay our bills).
- A place where he will grow spiritually.
Your Word says, "You have not because you ask not." Dr. Cho says the same thing and he says to be specific. These are my specific requests. Please answer by Aug. 15 so we can tell our landlord. Give me faith to believe what is already done. Thank you, Father, for Nathan's new wonderful job (by faith). What a blessing!
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