Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Our Foster Care Adventure...

I apologize that my posting has been sporadic at best. Lately, it seems that posting is the last thing on my mind! I've thought about closing down my blog, but I hate to give it up as it is a wonderful way to keep in touch with family and friends. So I'll continue to post-- sporadically!

I did want to update on our foster care adventure. As you know, Nathan and I began the process of certification in September. It normally takes about 3-4 months to become licensed. I was certain that our process would be speedy as I am a go-getter when it comes to things of this nature-- I just don't like to dilly-dally, I'd rather stay up night after night eyes' crossing while filling out paperwork until it's done!

The first step to foster care licensure is getting your fingerprints filed and a background check. Nathan took off work so that we could get this done the first week. Then it was on to training, home inspections, and home studies and all completed in record time!

Then in December, just as we are preparing our hearts to recieve our license and that fateful phone call determining who we would welcome into our home, everything changed. I received a copy of an e-mail stating that our background check form was incorrect and that our agency had been asked to correct the problem but had ignored/overlooked the complaint. After speaking with my home-study worker, I was assured that the problem was corrected but that unfortunately our license would be delayed 6 weeks due to the error. After a few weeks of waiting for our license, I decided to call the state to check on the progress of our background check... imagine my chagrin at finding out that the SAME paperwork was incorrect-- again! Frustrated, I contacted the owner of the foster care agency to figure out what the problem was! After more inquiries and many apologies on her side, she explained that the form had not been notarized and therefore had been rejected... but how could that be when Nathan and I drove 45 minutes to have the form notarized? Come to find out, the homestudy worker took matters into her own hands and refilled out the forms, only she couldn't get them notarized because of course she isn't us! I guess she didn't see the big line that said notary's signature and date. Nathan and I again drove the 45 minutes to complete the paperwork and placed it directly into the agency owner's hands! Again we waited, knowing it would be at least an ADDITIONAL 6 weeks before we could be licensed.... which leads us to the phone call I made just 3 weeks ago.

A call to the state background service department -- the same lady telling me no background forms received-- my dumbfounded are you certain's -- then back on the phone again with the agency. It appears the paperwork was lost somewhere at the background check department, but they're looking... another 6 weeks delay... and that is the long process that has led up to today.

After lots of prayer and deliberation, we have decided to postpone our plans for foster care. I never thought that I would be making this decision to wait, and it was not an easy one. It really made me feel like a quitter, and I've always been one of those folks who takes great pride in knowing that if I give my word on something {at least something important, not like when I say I'll post pictures--hee hee}, come hell or high-water I'll do it! My mind says that loving a child without a home seems so right, how can it be wrong? But my Spirit knows that doing what's good doesn't always equate with doing what's right in God's eyes.

I've had to get over a lot of pride to come to the peace of mind that I have today over our decision-- that foster care may be something in our near future, or our distant future, or perhaps not at all. This 9 month process coincided so perfectly with my pregnancy that our license and the new baby should be coming within the same week! Hard headed woman that I am, I believe that God took the situation out of my hands {none of the delays were caused by our errors} and forced me to wait, knowing that I'd never stop long enough to hear His voice if he spoke to me any other way! I'll admit that while coming to terms with waiting to become a foster parent was difficult, it has also brought a measure of relief. Contemplating raising a foster child, new baby, and two year old with Nathan working and going to school full time was beginning to feel a little overwhelming! I hope that God will one day allow us to bring foster/adoptive children into our home but I am content to wait for His perfect timing.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end leads to death.
-Proverbs 16:25


Bonnie said...

Hmmm. My thoughts are that God may be planning something for you that may be hindered by foster care, or since He did after all make us, and knows what makes us tick, knows that this could be to much for your family to digest at the moment with a new baby nearly here.
Ok that didn't sond as good as it did in my head, I hope you're not offended. I just don't know how else to say it!

Davene said...

Wow, thanks for taking the time to share all of this. I had no idea what was going on, but I second your thoughts (and Bonnie's) that the timing of it all doesn't seem right now. I have a feeling that God will use your desire to reach out to a child without a home at some point in the future; at least, you have been faithful to take the steps and make the sacrifices to get your license. I agree totally that His hand is at work, even in these delays. Personally, I'm glad for your sake that you won't be getting a foster child and a new baby all at the same time! Yep, that COULD be a tad overwhelming. :)

I'm also glad that you haven't decided to give up blogging altogether. Even if your posts are sporadic, I love to read them when they appear!! :)

Arlene said...

How wonderful that you were able to see God's Hand in the situation; some others might have continued ahead without noticing the Lord closing doors (whether temporarily or permanently) and that could have caused problems for your little family. I'm glad that you're trying to remain open to whatever it is that the Lord wills for you all... not much longer and that little baby will be in your arms -- how exciting!

Melissa said...

God's plans and timing are perfect...and sometimes we are reminded of that. That is so wonderful that you and your husband are willing to be foster parents. It is a high honor, indeed.

I can totally understand why you want to quick blogging sometimes, I get that way sometimes too. I feel like I don't blog enough....who cares?! We enjoy it when we do, don't we?

Melissa :D