Thursday, May 8, 2008

Proverbs 31:23

Last night I was talking with a friend on the phone about some spiritual struggles that I had recently been facing. Out of the blue she said, "What, does Nathan not believe in God now?" It threw me so off guard! I asked her "Why would you say that?" It just didn't make sense to me. When I hung up the phone, I remembered the verse:

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat
among the elders of the land. -Proverbs 31:23

All of the verses in Proverbs 31:10-31 are discussing the characteristics of a noble wife and the consequences of such a woman's actions. I've often thought of the verse above as out of place. Now I realize that the reason that the verse is included because the husband's reputation is partly due to his wife's actions. If she slanders, gripes, or even berates him, then he is not going to be well respected in the community {and neither will she, for that matter!} But if the noble wife exhorts her husband, speaks well of him, and shows respect to him, then others will respect him as well.

It occurred to me that the reason for my friend's seemingly unaccounted for remark was due to my actions. She is my best friend, and I have often called her to vent my frustrations about marriage, a.k.a. to complain about Nathan :( Although I don't think it was wrong of me to discuss problems with my friend, I realize that I need to be careful in the things that I say. When I call her, my emotions are usually high, and so I tend to be a bit dramatic and one-sided about the issues! I realize now that I have given her an unfair and false impression of Nathan. I really regret not being more careful with my tongue and can only hope that as I continue to speak of my high regard for my husband, I can fix this situation.

Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. James 4:11


Jaedan's Mom said...

We are all on our own learning curve and luckily God is gracious and merciful. The key is to realize when you have made a mistake and correct it. You have obviously done that and will grow deeper in your relationship with God and Nathan.

I still read "The Power of a Praying Wife", often to remind me of how to pray for Rick. There is also a book by Paula Friedrichsen "The Man You Always Wanted is the One You Already Have", that has brought me great insight.

Marriage is not easy, we both know that. Luckily you have a great support system with family and friends to help you through!

Davene said...

It is a hard balance to figure out how to be real and open about our struggles without going overboard and being disrespectful...also, who to do that with...and how often, etc. It used to be that Jeff and I had a number of couples in our life that we could be open with...that way, it wasn't just the wives talking or the husbands talking. We were BOTH getting help. Now we don't have that so much, and I miss it.