Wednesday, July 16, 2008

And to Think, I'm a Nanny?!?

This is where I am right now. I am on the brink of insanity. Seriously. I am considering putting Elon in daycare. I know what you are thinking... "You can't handle your child, so you are going to put him in daycare so someone else will have to." And yes. It's true. I can't handle my child. Which is very sad because I am a nanny and because I take him to work with me and because I want to raise a wonderful son. At this point, I feel like I am failing him. I have to think about my options:

1. Put him in daycare partial days or full days for three days a week.

2. Keep him with me at work and hope that he will grow out of it and go insane.

3. Quit work and try to find an at home babysitting position for an older child.

4. Figure out what I am doing wrong, correct it, and hopefully have better days at work.

Meanwhile, I am going to try to videotape our typical day so I can rewatch it and send it to my sister for her brutally honest opinion. She keeps telling me I need to be more aggressive with him. At this point, I just don't know what to do. I need to really pray about it.

5 comments:

Katheryn said...

I am only writing this because I understand where you have been. My Hunter has been at times the source of my greatest aggrivation. However, the greatest diservice you would do is to put Elon in daycare. He needs a mommy, you don't have to be perfect, find that in the Bible. God gave Elon to you as a gift, a blessing, you have something that he needs. I am learning with each child that to love them for who they are isn't always easy, to discipline consistenly is tough. But we are called to do both. "A child left to himself brings his mother shame." You have to be firm, it will bring you such peace, a rod (gluestick-ask Marie) and each time he behaves in a manner you don't want, a whap and away you go, you must follow him and catch him. Check out www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com. I have her book too. Or you can just email me. Don't give up. We want to reap what we sow right away, but sometimes we have to wait. Good luck.

Mrs. Bonnie said...

I second Katheryn, and remember Elon comes first. Your charges mommy sounds a little unrealistic (wasn't there something about conversation, and reading to an infant?)in her requests, and tough as it might be (and easy for me to say, since I'm not the one relying on the paycheck you get), maybe you do need to find another position. Putting Elon in daycare is not going to fix problems, only delay or add/make them worse.
Is Elon by anychance working on his last molars?
Brady has been super difficult lately, and when I finally got his mouth pried open to look last night, his 2 last molars were just poking through on the bottom, and the top didn't look to comfortable.
Just my $0.02 worth, taping your day and sending it sounds like a good idea too, after your clothing post, it sounds like you need brutally honest! (I know I do sometimes!)

Davene said...

Oh, I feel for you. I know you've had a very tough schedule, lots of transition in the past year, a challenging boss who (in my opinion) expects way too much...it's no surprise that you've hit a rough patch with Elon. However, don't give up hope!!! You can get through this, and I agree with Katheryn that God saw fit to give Elon to you and you are his mommy. No one else can do that job.

If, for the sake of your sanity, you need a break, maybe you could find a really temporary situation for Elon...not in the sense of "he's in daycare until he goes to school," but just a short break while you regroup. Maybe those two wonderful sisters-in-law of yours could help?

But ultimately, I think option 4 is what will provide the most satisfaction long-term. Parenting is such a strenuous job because it requires constant evaluation and adjusting to do it well. The child changes...the parent changes...and you can't go on auto-pilot for long.

I'm glad you have a sister whose opinion is valuable to you. We all need extra eyes who don't feel all the emotions we feel but who can be straightforward with us about what they see clearly.

If you want to ask more specific questions about how to deal with certain issues with Elon, ask away. I'm sure we'll all jump in with our two cents...which may or may not be good. But I know I've gotten some helpful advice from blogging buddies when I've faced parenting dilemmas.

On the other hand, if that's not helpful, just know that we stand with you...we've all felt what you feel...we're not casting stones...but we pray for grace and strength and wisdom for you during this difficult time.

Jaedan's Mom said...

I know, I know!! I say Jaedan was born with a temper and very stubborn. Literally he cried all night for the first three months and then every other night for the next three. He breast fed every two hours every night for the first 18 months! And now here we are at two! Whew...

I think it's extra tough to do it alone. I know Nathan is there in the evening, but I think that him not being around also contributes to the issues. Not having your Mom or sisters also makes it tougher on you!

I think I can relate more since I too was all alone. It's not just the behavior but never getting a break. Kids will react how you feel so when you're tired and feel like you can't deal with them anymore, that's how they behave. I'm not judging here. Trust me I just had one of those days yesterday and Jaedan was a little terror!!

I think you should look into Mom's Day Out. It is designed exactly for your situation. It's simply a flexible schedule of you getting a break and him getting stimulation from his peers. We all need a break that's why this program exists!!!!!

New Mom said...

Yes, Saretta, you're definitely right about it being even more difficult because Nathan doesn't get home until Elon is in bed. I will look up Mom's Day Out today.