Saturday, September 27, 2008

A Snap Of The Fingers...

Ok, so I wasn't going to tell for a while yet, but after tonight, I think I just need a safe place to vent. Nathan and I are going to have another baby! We are so excited. After just two months of using this ovulation calendar, I was able to conceive. This is amazing to me because after my miscarriage I tried for months to get pregnant with no success. I don't really like sharing the intimate detail that I utilized a free trial version of this ovulation calendar, but I'm being open because I want any other ladies who may be trying to conceive to know about this tool.

Most of you know that in December I miscarried. Although I was upset and disappointed, I really did feel like it was all in God's hands... "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." I made it through that time by knowing that God had His best plan for me, and I did not need to question His intentions.



When I discovered that I was pregnant this time, I really thought that I would be ok with whatever outcome the Lord chose. But after spending all night with mild stomach cramps, I find that I am not ok. I am terrified that this pregnancy might end just like the last one did. I am so upset and worried and the extra hormones don't help! I am sure that those of you who have experienced a miscarriage followed by another pregnancy know just the turmoil that I am going through. My last pregnancy ended with what started as mild cramping. Now, with every cramp I beg God not to take this baby from me. This is supposed to be a happy time, yet I find that I cannot be truly joyful because of my fear. If I could just snap my fingers and make this first trimester fly by...

2 comments:

Marie said...

I am so excited for you and Nathan but I WILL continue to keep you in my prayers Himilce!

Elizabeth said...

Himilce we are praying for you and the baby.